To the happiness of love

There were clutches pulling her down, she struggled to remain on her feet,  societal norms blowed over heavily. But he held her hand strong n steady, watching her,  bracing the storms himself. She looked up, she rose up. In his support she found her strength. Proud of his belief she set flight n he was the wind beneath her wings,  as comrades they flew together building a beautiful life as equals,  as friends n as a family. 

A letter to mom

Ma there was so much to tell you.  Six years that we have spent far away frim each other.  So many many hours worth of stories.  No apps or calls or photos calm my heart.  I graduated.  There was a book they published with my name on it. Your short visit just passed by.  I didn't get to sit and just live with you.  Probably never will.  Just cant accept the separation is forever.  It cant be.  But we met after a year.  Maybe the distance is forever.
Maybe we live separate lives.  I never knew growing up is about growing away.
I love you mommy.

To someone I loved & now just respect!!

Everytime we saw those awareness shows shunning caste and creed, highlighting discrimination and inequalities, there were responses that suggested your shunning of these evils too. Hence I grew up associating the same with the less educated, the less privileged living in the rural nowheres in India. You have proven me wrong.

I have grown up now to see beyond the hypocrisies of the sophisticated societies. You shun the evils and term them rural. But you kill your daughters just as well. (80% of female foeticides in India happen in cities, the rural folk just concentrat on the next one). Yours is a world shrouded in a glittering cover up. Yours is a world with dual meanings, where business meets mingle with pleasure, where five stars hotels shroud many screams, where a few pictures of Gandhiji empowers you to kill his teachings. Yours is a busy world, when you cant pause to hear beyond her "hello", when you cannot bother to know she needs anything more than the amount you send, when you donot bother to know if it gonna be good night after you have said so.

If this is civilization I rather choose to be in the jungles than such cities.

When I did not learn print design

Going through a lot of old files I found these, once very prized works of "art" now lies beneath a years worth of dust. 

Instructions were to make thematic "designs" / "prints" by material manipulation.

The Aim of the exercise was to open our minds to think beyond the concepts, I believe. Not too successful with me at any rate. But I still cant understand the purpose of using fevicol, burnt effect over it, marbling (practically anything under the sun) to make prints. Half these prints cannot possibly be printed on fabric and for the ones that can actually be replicated, i have not so far seen any industry encouraging such means of designing. So, while my age old debate with the system will continue. let me explain the concept down here.

Many theme boards, mood boards, bored boards, tantrums later I did pass the module. But I was then a textile designer who couldnt make a design on fabric. Many explanations and justifications later, I failed the interview!!

To an estranged brother who hated her husband

Hello there little brother, she said
I know you wont read this , she cried, that's precisely why I write.

For all these years in many occasions and situations I wrote to you, each time remembering the first letter in the broken hand that you had written to me. I still have it tucked somewhere, buried in the layers of time among everything else. You never replied I still wrote, thinking no replies meant different than not caring. I had had my doubts but they told me blood was thicker than water, then they told me distance had nothing to do with relations. I agreed

Today I disagree. Today I refuse to believe that you love me, I dont know if you ever did. Its natural isn't it not to care much since we have never really known each other, since we have always lived apart. But you know I wrote, I got at most one liners but I wrote. But they told me that's not how it works you are family and family loves!! I believed again. I never expected but only believed. Now my belief is shattered. You indifference I would have been prepared for. But not for hatred.

I donot understand how can you so much hate some one you donot know, you never bothered to understand, you never replied to. Its a difference in values and ideals in life, but there shouldn't be such a difference in willingness to love!

Its expected of me to love you unconditionally even when you are indifferent and cold. But it is not correct for me to associate with and love someone who is warm and affectionate? No you are wrong!! Donot think of discarding me from the family, I refuse your world of pretense and falsehood!! I refuse to believe in what they say anymore. I choose to believe in love beyond the precincts of castes, class, systems and blood!!

Starry yet lonely

Thats the night tonight, I have a million stars and yet nobody..... Its strange how soon one can make another one so much a part of their lives, unconsciously.
Life is then a melody the rhythm of which is lost at the absence of the other....
Come back home soon 

Greater Good??

There's the one person who made you dream... and the other who made you live those dreams... Who is the greater good?

You gave me the wings and taught me how to fly, a wretched me just had to fly into the waiting wings of another, but you never did fly up yourself to any claims .... No blame games here, i take the liability.... And so i flew, high and higher , leaving you where we had started.... Forgotten and forlorn....
If i can fly its because of you, If I can love its because you taught me well... but now i fly in another's wake, asleep to all agony ... So who is the greater good??
This is no fair comparison.... Whatever my present happiness is, it's because of you. I have denied you a lot in life but no matter what I cant deny that you were the wind beneath my wings... But every flight has a destination, I seem to have landed on mine... and I cant go backwards anymore....

You are and always be the best. All the best.